A view into the everyday messiness of life, that others never speak of.

Thursday, December 8, 2016

6 Years and We Never Noticed...

I went to watch Carter coach his 8th grade game. Then we went to eat. I got home at 7:45. My plan touch up a couple paint spots then relax and watch the Chiefs. As mentioned in last post, I have been working on spots in the office. 

"Measure twice cut once." I've heard that many times. 

Calling all painters- Is there an old adage for painters?  Test twice-paint once?  If so, I wish I heard it prior to 8:30pm tonight. 

So we have been in this house for six years. There are some spots that need touched up in the upstairs bathroom. 
So I pulled the paint can out of the basement. I'm thankful the previous owners left all the cans in the basement. I stir it up many times. I take a small brush and paint a small area under the sink. It matches perfectly. I even let it dry and it matched. 

So the Chiefs are on, Carter is in the living room nearby, I start on an area.
I cuss out loud. I call Carter in to prove that it matched where I tried it. For the first time in 6 years we notice the walls in this bathroom are two different colors!  Crap!  What to do?  I leave at 3 tomorrow. We have a showing Saturday. I don't have time to paint the entire room. 

I scramble to garage. We have brushes, edgers, painters tape, and only a mini roller. I decide I'll edge tonight, run to store tomorrow for a roller, and paint in the morning. Another unfinished urgent task, no way I can sleep good tonight. 

Here are the two walls. The paint matched the section next to the mirror.

I get to listen to the Chiefs while I trim the bathroom. 

From now on I will check paint matches in 2 different areas. 

I can't believe we never noticed the walls were different in this room. 

My life is NEVER boring!  

Red, Red Wine-when I Wanna Paint it Black!

Earlier today, I took down some shelves in the office, so I needed to touch up a few areas. For those who don't know, our office is Red. 

So I find the paint can in the basement that the previous owners left for us. I sang TSwift song as I stirred it. "Shake, Shake"

If you have ever painted red on a white wall, you know it starts off looking pink, and takes many layers. This my plan for the day is to paint the areas every two hours. 

So after four layers, we are getting closer. 

At 3:30 we now have five layers-


Stopping for tonight, will do more layers tomorrow. 
I hate not finishing a task-probably won't sleep because I will keep thinking about it. Gotta leave for KC tomorrow by 3, we have a showing on Saturday, I gotta get this done. 

It would be easier to paint it black!

Monday, December 5, 2016

Lady MacBeth does Laundry

Out, damned spot! out, I say! (Lady MacBeth)

I am asked many a time, what I do to keep busy everyday.  I assure those that ask, that there is always a lot to do.  I would rather lay on the sofa and read for hours, surf the net all day, or take a soak in the tub everyday...although that is what many think I do all day (a.k.a. My mother) my life is a lot more messy. 

For instance today, I planned to clean, do laundry, walk Nala, run errands, and box up the mudroom all before 3pm. 

I started picking up, started laundry, and walked Nala. When I went to change the laundry, my day and all plans were derailed. When I opened the dryer I found ink everywhere.

One of my sons will be upset when they see the laundry they did over the weekend. An ink pen exploded. "Be sure to check all pockets."  Moms are always nagging and I am no different. 

Standing at the stained dryer, I began my search. Google had too many so I started trying items myself. 

 Wipes didn't work. Hairspray works on clothes and carpet but not dryer drums. The wine stain remover works on carpets and clothes but not dryers. So I went back to Google. 

 At last fingernail polish remover did the trick. My drum is now clean and I am high as a kite!  

 I am small so reaching in to clean meant climbing partially in the drum. Of course there is no air vent and it is a confined space. The fumes were strong. Now clean, I had to ensure all alcohol was removed so as not to set the dryer on fire. So I rinsed the drum. 

Now I can switch the laundry and try to get my day back in track. It took over an hour to de-ink the dryer drum. 

Of course half my list for the day is still incomplete as Jamie arrived home. As I drive to KC tonight, I made the to do list for tomorrow in my mind. 

Fix Jamie's headlight, unpack wardrobe boxes then flatten them in my trunk, drive to Des Moines, run errands, do Laundry, box up mudroom and office closet, walk Nala, cook dinner for Carter and me, etc. let's see if Tuesday goes as planned. (I won't hold my breath.)

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

The "Urge to Purge" & How many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop

I think of things daily to type, but never sit still long enough to do it.

Okay, it's day one post election or as I like to look at it The Christmas Season!  We are all alive, still working, still have money, etc.  Christmas video (Click Here)  Another one (Click here)  Last one...Maybe (Click Here)

So many of you saw all of the items I sold on the PEACH Facebook page...de-cluttering at the end of summer.  I had the "urge to purge" in May.  I am not talking about the movie trilogy.  The Purge (press here) Planned on a garage sale-but God thought it a bad idea, so I had surgery instead.  The "urge to purge" didn't go away, so I tried to sell items online.  I sold a lot, don't get me wrong.  However, the "urge to purge" is worse now than it was in May.

In our 23 years of marriage, we have lived in 11 houses, in 3 states, in 6 cities. (In Missouri: Chillicothe, Chillicothe, Chillicothe, Trenton, Liberty; Illinois: Quincy, Quincy; Iowa: Davenport; Missouri: Liberty; Iowa: Des Moines, Carlisle)  Moving from town to town was due to Hy-Vee, but multiple moves in one town was me getting "the itch" to move.  My mother-in-law always states I am crazy when I am itching to move again.  Hold on to your hat Kathy, I am feeling the need to toss, sell, gift, box, and move again.

It has nothing to do with the community or my friends.  It is just..."an itch".  Now will I get to move? Probably not.  Will I hoard boxes from produce departments at Hy-Vee to organize closets, storage, etc?  Probably. Will I start listing items on Amazon, Ebay and PEACH FSBO on Facebook? Probably.  Will my friends be annoyed?  Probably.

Now those who have read before, know I struggle with depression.  Is it bad right now?  Yes.  Am I gifting away my most cherished items and contemplating hurting myself?  NO!  I will not be listing my beloved iPhone, Mustang, iPad, PC, TV, Scanner/Printer, my overly large wine glasses, my Green M&M lady,

my too many frogs, my Jambox, my Paper Pro Stapler, my Kermit PJ's,
Kermit pillow, etc.

So rest assured it is not a warning sign of a pending suicide.  But I can't help but wonder if it is a side effect of depression.  Do I want to inventory my belongings?  Do I want to re-evaluate what I need vs. want?  Do I want to simplify?  or Do I just want to purge so I can begin hoarding more "junk" again?  Like how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop, the world may never know.  How many licks does it take? (click here)

I do know that I am tired of making lists and wanting to purge...so moving or not, this lady is going to clean, organize, and purge.

On another note, I am addicted to donuts!  Yes, I know it could be worse.  However, do you plan your day around finding the nearest Hy-Vee with the freshest glazed donuts?  Not just any doughnut will do.  It has to be glazed.  It has to be a doughnut.  Not a long-john, etc.  I prefer it to have icing-no chocolate.  It can have drizzled icing but NO SPRINKLES!  I am not a Dunkin Donuts or Krispy Kreme fan.  I will settle for Casey's if I want to torture myself with less than my desired perfection.  My family thinks it is funny.  They tease me.  They tell me no.  If it were only that simple.  It is an addiction!  Really!  An addiction that is increasing my waistline daily.  Soon I will need new clothes.  And yes, those of you wondering, I am still addicted to Diet Pepsi.  Of course, I have no desire to work out and earn my sweets.  Do I purchase and hide them for later?  Yes!  Of course, they haunt me the entire time they are hidden, until I decide I will end my suffering and eat it now.

Many are posting on Facebook upset by the election, worried for our nation and our futures.  I am worried for today.  I have found a reason to drive to South Des Moines this morning, so that stopping at Hy-Vee for two doughnuts seems logical.  I scheduled pick up of an item for 4p.m. tomorrow in hopes I won't drive to town tomorrow morning for a quick fix...but who am I kidding?  I will find a reason to get my doughnut.  If not at Hy-Vee, I will take Nala on a drive, because she needs to get out of the house.  We will go to Casey's for my fix.  I have even resorted to using my precious puppy to enable my addiction.

Remember the Dunkin Donuts commercials?  It's time to make the doughnuts (click here)  My mantra is How can I get a doughnut?  I need another doughnut!

United we stand.  Divided we fall.  Let's hope President Trump doesn't fire us all.
"You're Fired" (click here)

TTFN My Friends!

Thursday, October 6, 2016

What is That Smell? Always a Scary Thing When Living With Three Guys!

So I am in the office doing some internet surfing and avoiding housework...I keep getting a wiff of something unpleasant.

I turn on my Scentsy near the desk.  I go back to me browsing.  It doesn't go away.  I notice Nala laying at my feet.  I pick her up and proceed to sniff her all over.  I say all over, but I did not sniff her back end.  I will leave that for the neighbor dogs on our walk tonight.  She is the not the source I seek.

I go back to the computer.  Puzzled, I try to ignore it.  Jamie can attest that when my sniffer is on a smell, I am relentless until I find it and care for it.

I push my chair back, on all fours I am crawling slowly around the office.  Several scents, but none the unpleasant one I am tracking.  I conclude it is near the office desk chair.  I sniff the cushions.  Found it.  Tucked ever so sneakily between the base and back is a pair of Peyton's dirty black socks.  They are the same color as the chair.

Nala has attempted to hide her treasure from the laundry room last night.  Peyton came home for a visit and laundry.  Nala loves to take clean and dirty socks and hide them.  She gets huffy when we find them.

Odor found, I take them to laundry room with Nala hot on my heels.  I drop them on the laundry room floor and quickly attempt to shut the door.  The little thief is so stealthy, she is already running up the stairs with Jamie's socks.  I will be finding them in the living room later today.

I spray the office then proceed to wash my hands.

Now where was I Google?

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Too Young Right? (Don't answer that!)

So Nala and I are enjoying our usual weekday routine today.  Cleaning a bit, two loads of laundry, losing ourselves on the internet...but odd things are happening.
Nala trying to rest in the office.

When starting a load of laundry, I walk through the basement shutting off all lights and shutting doors so Nala can come downstairs with me.  My timer on my phone goes off so we walk downstairs to switch the laundry.  Yes, I am that type A, I set alarms to switch laundry on time.

The door to the boys' bathroom is now open and the light is on.  Now I am 100% sure I closed the door and 80% sure I turned the light off when I did that.  I ask Nala if she did it, she looks at me with a "duh mom" look on her pretty little face.  I shut off the light, shut the door.  We switch the laundry.  Before we go upstairs, Nala with a sock in her mouth, I look over all the doors are closed and all lights are off.

When we arrive upstairs, Nala hides her sock treasure in the living room while I set the alarm for the house.  No one is going to come in and surprise me.  I hop in the shower. As I exit the bathroom, the lights over the kitchen bar are on.

I don't turn on lights during the day.  Bathrooms and laundry room are the only exceptions as they have no windows.  Nala is resting on the back of the sofa.  She would not be doing this if someone else was in the house.  I turn off the kitchen light.  Nala and I head to the office to surf the internet.

My alarm signals its time to switch laundry.  We descend the steps.  All doors are shut.  All lights are off.  Good.

When we bring Jamie's white shirts up to hang before they wrinkle, my bedroom door is open.  Now, we close all doors so the Nala doesn't steal every sock in the house.  I know that door was closed when we went downstairs.  I look to Nala she looks at me with her blue eyes...nothing.  After hanging the shirts, I close both closet doors.  I make sure the two bathroom doors are closed.  Then I securely close our bedroom door.

I make lunch.  As I approach the office, I hear music.  Funny, I had not started any music today.  My tv is still paused on the DVR show I was listening to.  "I've Got A Girl Crush" by Little Big Town is playing.  iTunes is now open on my monitor.  When I listen to music on the computer it is usually through I Heart Radio or Pandora.

Either I am experiencing early onset Alzheimer's, or someone/something is playing with me.  I grab my baseball bat from under my side of the bed.  (Yes, I sleep protected.)  Nala and I proceed to walk through every room turning the light on, looking everywhere, then shutting off the light and shutting the door.  No one is upstairs, so we head downstairs.  THE LIGHT IS ON IN CARTER'S ROOM!!!  Ah, got him!  Why did he come home early today?  Why is he playing tricks on us?  And why didn't Nala let me know he was here?

I open his bedroom door, bat raised.  No one is in there!

We finish our walk of the entire basement.  I quickly look under all doors to make sure all lights are off.  We head back upstairs.  I keep the bat with me.

Nala rings the bell, letting me know she wants to go outside.  (Yes, when we potty trained, we taught her to ring a bell hanging by the door so we know to let her out.)  I open the front door-the house alarm goes off.  I shut the door quickly and run to punch in the code.

So, I really did set the alarm.  No one can enter or leave while it is set without blaring sirens or loud beeping to disarm it.  No one is here with Nala and me.

Did I turn on all of the lights, open the doors, and turn on the music and not remember?  Is this a sign?  If so, what of?  Alzheimer's? Spirits? Ghosts?

I haven't taken any meds or sipped any wine.  But I may start if one more thing happens today.

Friday, August 5, 2016

So to finish the post from yesterday...


The first doctor told me if the gyno found nothing they would assume it IBS.  There is not test for IBS, you just prove it is nothing else.  This involves changing diet, logging the type and frequency of bowel movements, avoiding foods that trigger, avoiding stress (ya right), and occasionally bad bouts that require pain meds.

The gyno in office didn't think it was anything.  Said she could order another ultrasound with her staff that are very focused in these areas.  We said yes.  She gave me plenty of meds.  Found that I needed a hystorectomy.  

I had surgery on 7/13.  Feeling much better now.  Still not 100% but better than I have been since the end of May.

Moral of the story.  Modern Medicine likes to say a lot of female symptoms are PMS or Menopause...it makes it easy.  Follow you heart and gut.  If you think something is not right, keep finding another doctor to confirm or find out what it really is.

Thursday, August 4, 2016

First day of vacation trip to URGENT CARE

If you didn't read the previous entry from the tenth you might want to...for those that did...it is not "He Who Must Not Be Named"...

Monday, June13th is Jamie's first day of vacation.  He is a morning person, I am NOT.  I am a late night person, he is NOT.  But on this day, I am up before him, but not by choice.

I wake at 5:45 a.m. with severe all over abdominal pain.  On a scale of 1-10, it was a steady 7.  Every now and then a sharp left side pain would shoot down raising the pain to a 9.  I try moving positions for several minutes, but nothing changes or eases it.  I roll back to my side facing Jamie.  I start my mental dialog.

It's his first day of vacation.  Should I wake him up and worry him?  Urgent care opens at 7:30 a.m.  Do I need to go to the E.R. or can I wait?  If I can wait, should I wake him up at 6:30 or 7 to get ready?

Eventually, I wake him and explain he needs to drive me to urgent care.  I am a broken record, apologizing over and over for starting his vacation this way.

The urgent care doctor performs a pregnancy test, blood tests, then gives me an anti-inflammatory shot and prescribes pain meds.  (Disclaimer- I am allergic to many medications.  Unfortunately for me all of the strong ones, I can't have.)  The pain med is the equivalent of several tylenols.  They plan to schedule a CT Scan and send me home.

Jamie drives me to Hy-Vee to get my scripts then I crash with ice-packs on the sofa for the rest of the day.  He tries his best to watch tv with me, but I can tell sitting all day makes him feel like a caged tiger.
Tuesday I spend much the same way.  I don't get a call from the doctor's office so I call to speak to a nurse.  Of course, the front desk screens the call and takes a message to pass to the nurse.
Tuesday night we attend Peyton's ball game, not that I remember any of it.
Wednesday I call twice, still can't speak to a nurse (damn desk girls).  Finally, a nurse calls me back stating my CT scan is Thursday.  I will run out of pills before then so I ask for a refill, she claims she will call back.  She doesn't of course.  I call Thursday and leave a message.  I ride to Hy-Vee with Jamie and he has the pharmacist call to see if they can get the doctor to refill.  Bingo that worked.  Enough pills for three more days.

If you haven't had a CT Scan of your abdomen, let me warn you about something my nurse did not.  The appointment time given is an hour before your real scan.  You will drink 1/2 a gallon of liquid in that hour for contrast in the scan.  We were suppose to drive to Carroll, Iowa for a doubleheader that night, but luckily they cancelled due to rain.  We might not have made it in time.

CT Scan showed A large cyst on right ovary, not on the left where my pain was the worst and some cysts on the uterus.  Got the results on Monday.  Scheduled me for an ultrasound on Wednesday.  Of course, I ran out of meds, and had to call multiple times before they would refill.

Let me remind you, its not Hydrocodone, Oxycodone, etc.  But they treat me like a drug seeking addict anyway. I tell Jamie, I could just drink my whiskey and drink till the pain is gone.  He doesn't like this idea.  I feel like I'd be in less pain.  My pills only mask it to about a four of ten.

After the trans-vaginal ultrasound, waiting for results, and calling for more meds...they ask me to see a gynocologist.  Now how do they tell me this?  They don't...I get a call from the gyno they referred me to.  They schedule me an appointment for August 3rd.  Over a month away.  I call my doctor office and complain, that I had no warning they had referred me.  I told them I would call my own, I knew I could get in earlier.

More of this drama posted tomorrow.  (Trust me I am almost pain free now.)
"He Who Must Not Be Named"

Okay, I have been off here for a bit, but going to catch you up the next few days.  This entry is one I started typing on June 10th:

Lord Voldemort of sorts has entered our house.  Those of you who follow Harry Potter are familiar with the term "He Who Must Not Be Named".  This has a new purpose in our home.  What does it now stand for?

Menopause!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And yes, it is a he because no woman would torment like this.

I have all of the symptoms, but maybe not... let me break it down for you.


Night Sweats-Yep I have those, although it is also listed as a side effect of a few of my perscriptions.

Anxiety-Yep, but I am a mom of two very busy boys, married to a guy working an average of 70+ hours a week...Why shouldn't I be?

Sleep Problems-Yep I have that.  But that is also a side effect of medications and part of my previously discussed here depression.  Besides good books can cause me not to sleep too.

Mood Changes-Duh!  Could again be meds or depression, or the fact I live with three guys.

Weight Gain-Sad to say yes.  Could be depression, lack of sleep, or all the concession stand foods we must eat going to or at games.

Thinning Hair/Dry Skin-Yes I have that.

Breast tenderness-OMG Yes!  That doesn't begin to cover this symptom.  Almost as bad as when pregnant. (Had a tubal so no Baby Stephens here.)

So I called a family meeting and stated we were NOT to say the word Menopause in our house.  I wouldn't be responsible for the poor soul who mentioned it or said "Hey, I think that is the menopause talking..."  If they like life they will tiptoe and avoid the topic.

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

laundry part two

So I should have stayed in my pjs and read all day.  I replaced cartridge in hot tub and added chemicals. I decided it needed some water added.  I turned on the hose then set a timer on my phone for 30 min. 

I chose to walk Nala during this time.  

She pranced through the neighborhood making sure everyone was where they should be. We return to this. 

Three minutes later my timer went off. UGH!!!

I'm ready for tonight's ball games!!!



Laundry Excitement

So, it is very rare that our laundry room doesn't have mounds upon mounds of laundry to wash, dry and put away.  Today was glorious!  I say WAS.  I entered the laundry room to wash the F@@%ing white baseball pants that we wore last night and must wear again tonight.  I was excited.  There was only two loads of laundry.  TWO!  I could get those done by noon and rejoice in the splendor of the bare laundry room floor.

I started water in the sink and placed the white pants in to soak.  I started a load of colors in the washer.  I could walk with my head high that all the laundry was washed.

I'm putting pop cans in the recycle can (another thing I LOVE about Iowa), and notice the washer/water pipes are sounding very loud.  Much, much louder than normal.  I walk downstairs to admire the splendor of a clean floor in the laundry room and check out the loud sound.

I left the water on in the sink (soaking white pants).  There is over an inch of water on the entire laundry room floor.  I hollar at Peyton who is in his bedroom 20 ft away.  I run upstairs to grab every towel from the closet, every fleece blanket, every throw blanket to absorb the water.

I find Peyton is still not present, so I yell multiple times and louder.  Nala is running around eating from tossed Doritos bags, empty Fiss cups, etc strewn all over the boys basement tv area.  She freezes and looks at me.  Tilts her head side to side.  I tell her, "Yes we were in there waking him up less than thirty minutes ago.  I know you licked his face and made him mad...but he went back to sleep."

He finally emerges to toss dirty towels from his room on the water. (No I didn't miss the fact that there is in fact loads of dirty laundry in his bedroom.)  He helps me carry very wet, very heavy blankets outside to start to dry.  He SnapChats often as I frantically try to catch all the water before it seeps into the walls, Carter's room and the carpet of the family room.

I guess I am thankful he took breaks to snap pics...or I couldn't show you some of this fun adventure.

I'm just grateful, he didn't catch me in a pic.  I am still in my men's yellow and green 
SeƱor Frog´s boxers and red chiefs shirt I wore as pajamas.  My hair is a mess and now I am a mess.

I have to add laundry back to my dry erase board list for the day...something I had so proudly erased earlier.  Guess I didn't need free time today after all.  The joys of being a parent.  :-)

Monday, May 30, 2016

My secret...This will shock most who know me.

A few family members and a very close friend are aware of my illness, but even they don't know the messiness I am about to share.

My secret:  Many will be shocked by this.  I suffer from depression.  It is hereditary, and I was first diagnosed at the age of seventeen.  I have been on and off medication for years.

Currently, I am on medication.  I am one of the lucky ones, though.  It has never been so bad that I have contemplated suicide.   I have my good days and my bad days.  I have no way of preventing the bad days.  They hit like a surprise thunderstorm.

At this point in time, I am in a bad phase.  Most know me as a sports mom that organizes team events and my family to support the players...here comes the messy.  I have to pry myself out of bed.  I could sleep until noon daily.  When I wake, I ache head to toe.  I've often been told, "this is all in your head",  "Get up and move you will feel better",  or "Take a shower, you will feel better."  Well, I may take the advice, but I fake it.  I fake that I don't ache.  I fake that the shower is just what I needed.  I fake that a walk revived me.  I fake a smile, pull on my big girl panties and forge through the day.  I want nothing more than to lay in bed all day to sleep, read or watch mindless t.v.  I cry about starving kids, military families, politics, poverty, family drama, and much more in the darkness of my bedroom.  Outside my bedroom walls, I rarely cry.  I can't allow others to see my weakness.  They will not understand.  It will be accredited to female hormones or tiredness.  No one wants to believe mental illness is so much more.  It's not talked about.  It's considered a weakness.  Many believe it is a choice.  This makes it harder to work through.

I have had the idea of this blog for a few weeks now.  But, as I forced myself off the couch at noon, I decided today was the day.  Writing has always helped.  I wrote short stories and poetry in high school, I've dabbled with a few children's book and adult books over the years.  I decided to use a blog this time.  No one may read it.  Many may read it.  It doesn't matter.  I plan to share my messy life secrets in hopes they help others.  It will not all be about depression.  I have many funny stories to share of living with three guys and the silly stuff I've done.

After I rose from the couch, I consumed ten, yes ten, Snickers Minis.  I'm allergic to chocolate, so will have hives this afternoon, but I had a real smile on my face and felt good tasting them.  I let Nala out and began navigating Google to start this new literary adventure.  I am in my pajama shirt and plaid pajama pants that I have worn for three nights now.  Yes, it is now 2pm and I am in my pajamas.  That is a battle I will struggle with here soon.  Forcing myself to change my clothes is exhausting.  Everything is exhausting.  Not to mention finding clothes that are comfortable, fit the way I want and are appropriate for the day can be mentally taxing for anyone.  I sit here at my computer, a box of tissues on one side, my second Diet Pepsi of the day on the other, with my iPhone in the middle.  I have a million thoughts going through my brain.  I need to clean, thaw meat for supper, get two oil changes, put away pictures from last weekend's grad party, encourage boys to clean the basement, encourage Peyton to finish his thank you cards, encourage him to work on his college class for summer, encourage Carter to register for the Praxis he needs to take, weed the landscaping, walk Nala, clean the house, start laundry, fold laundry, put away laundry, the list goes on and on.  I try to remind myself to keep organized.  Here is what my calendar/reminders look like.  Jamie often teases that my phone tells me when to pee.  I am so afraid I will forget something, I note everything, so I have too many.

Of course, through my therapeutic typing, my computer picks this time to shutdown, mid post. I will not be detoured.

 I played with all the chords, can't figure it out.  So I moved it to the kitchen, and bam it works!  Guess it needed a nap.

I constantly feel overwhelmed, unorganized, and underappreciated.  I don't take the time to pamper myself like I should.  I feel I need to focus on meeting the needs of everyone else before myself...or I can't enjoy my own time.

I have so much I need to work through.  This online rant has helped if only for the moment.  I feel a tiny weight lifted and am going to go change into daytime clothes and get some things done.

I apologize if I am jumping all over the place, I just have so much I want to share, to no longer keep hidden, that I need to organize it.

I will post on here weekly or more often.  I am not looking for sympathy or words of encouragement.  I am just sharing with the world, my messy daily life.  I hope you will read a few.


So here it is.  My first blog post.  Nothing fabulous.  Nothing revolutionary.  Just a normal woman in Central Iowa spilling her guts for the enjoyment of others.

I must warn you, I plan to be brutally honest.  I will not sugar coat my daily life.  So this will be messy.  Why?  Because life is messy.

I am a wife of 23 years and a mom of two sons age 22 and 18.  I also have a Pomsky named Nala.  She is a livewire as you will see.

So let's get to it.  I will spill my thoughts, events, and stories weekly, and you can laugh, cry, and share them as you wish.